Are you living in Sexless marriage life? Don’t worry here are some tips and therapy get help and remedies
Why do men and women get married? Such a simple question deserves a profoundly simple answer – because they want to share their lives with a spouse in a very intimate way. As humans we yearn to be close to another, to be fully known, yet despite this, to be unconditionally loved. Learn here about sexless marriage life.
“Intimacy” includes physical closeness and to many, this quickly gets translated to mean a sexual relationship. Of course, married love includes sex, as it should, but long-married couples will often relate that the sexual part of their relationship is only one of many ways they are intimate with each other.
Other forms of intimacy are emotional, intellectual, heart-to-heart conversations, working together at common goals, and spiritual intimacy. True marital intimacy usually involves being honest with your spouse and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Because you know your spouse well and trust him/her not to hurt you, you are willing to give yourself completely and risk the unknown.
“Relationships don’t die because of a lack of love, they die because of a lack of passion.” – Tony Robbins
What Is a Sexless Marriage?
A sexless marriage is a marriage in which there is little to no sexual activity between the partners. Many couples experience periods of more sex and less sex. A temporary period of less sex isn’t typically considered “sexless.” While there is no official definition, many define a sexless marriage as one in which the couple has not had sex (or has had only extremely infrequent sex) for a year or more.
There are many possible reasons a couple might find themselves in a sexless partnership. Whether being in a sexless relationship is an issue depends on the couple, but if they lack of sex and physical intimacy is a problem, there are ways to work through it together and separately starting with identifying the underlying cause.
Common Causes Of Sexless Marriage Life
There are many possible reasons that a marriage may become sexless, including everything from health issues to lifestyle factors. Here’s an overview of some common reasons.
A person’s overall physical and mental health can have a major impact on their libido and desire for physical intimacy. Health concerns and disabilities can also disrupt the physiological process of arousal in both sexes.
Experiencing some problems with sexual functioning is common, but if they last for more than a few months or they’re causing problems for you or your partner, it’s a good idea to speak with a healthcare provider.
Not everyone desires the same amount of sex, and sex drive has a natural ebb and flow. When the desire for sex does not coincide, it’s easy for couples to find themselves wanting to engage sexually until both partners are in the mood, which can be infrequent.
According to The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), there isn’t a defined time when someone can have sex again after childbirth, but many healthcare providers recommend waiting for at least four to six weeks (though sometimes longer) for physical recovery alone.
This timeframe of no sex typically wouldn’t be long enough to be considered a true “sexless marriage,” but whether someone who gave birth is mentally and emotionally ready to have sex after this point depends on the individual. The added stress of caring for an infant, body changes, tiredness, and hormonal factors can also affect a person’s libido after having a child.
Excessive stress can wreak havoc on your health, including your sex drive.4 The stress hormone cortisol can also play a role in lowering your libido. In addition to the physical reasons why stress lowers sex drive, the psychological effects of stress can leave you so tired, frazzled, and anxious that you simply don’t have the desire or energy for sex.
When you are in conflict with your partner, it can be difficult to maintain physical intimacy. You might not feel like talking to your partner, let alone engaging in sexual activity.
- Conflicts and arguments
- Negative feelings
- Punitive or passive-aggressive behaviors
- Power struggles
- Pornography addiction
Erectile dysfunction (impotence) is the inability to get and keep an erection firm enough for sex.
Difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection can make it difficult to have sex for a number of reasons.5 While erectile dysfunction (ED) is a common problem, it can also affect a person’s anxiety levels, confidence, and self-esteem. People who have symptoms of ED should always talk to a doctor, as it may be a sign of an underlying health condition.
You can buy an erectile dysfunction pill and get back your sex in your married life.
Oral Drugs (PDE5 inhibitors)
Drugs known as PDE type-5 inhibitors increase penile blood flow. These are the only oral agents approved in the U.S. by the Food and Drug Administration for the treatment of ED.
- Generic Viagra (Sildenafil citrate)
- Levitra (Generic vardenafil)
- Cialis (Tadalafil)
- Stendra (Avanafil)
Online pharmacies To Buy ED Pills
It is possible to buy treatments over the internet for ED. However, a person should be cautious when doing so.
The United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has a consumer safety guide trusted Source regarding online pharmacies. Including Ignitemeds.com is FDA approved online pharmacy.
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Low Sex Drive
Sometimes called hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), low sex drive is an issue that both men and women may experience. In females, a number of factors may contribute to HSDD, including menstrual cycles, the use of hormonal contraceptives, childbirth, breastfeeding, hysterectomy, and menopause.
Medication Side Effects
Many medications have sexual side effects. Some drugs that can cause sexual dysfunction include over-the-counter decongestants, some antihistamines, antidepressants, and high blood pressure medications.
Mental Health Issues
Symptoms of depression include lack of energy, loss of interest and pleasure, social withdrawal, and depressed mood—all factors that can have an effect on a person’s desire for sex and physical intimacy.
History of Abuse
Past sexual abuse can have long-lasting effects that can influence current and future relationships.6 Emotional reactions such as fear and shame, post-traumatic stress, and distortions in self-perception can have a serious impact on a person’s sex life.
There are a number of different life factors that can also play a role in how frequently people engage in sex with their partner, including:
- Body image issues
- Financial problems
- Job loss
How to Fix Sexless Marriage Life?
Sometimes a couple stops being able to have sex due to health conditions, aging, an increase in caregiving responsibilities, or other factors that can’t necessarily be “fixed.” But even in these situations, couples can learn to accept the lack of sex over time because they love their partner and everything else about their relationship. They can also enjoy forms of physical intimacy and sexual touch that don’t revolve around intercourse but are still very sexy, pleasurable, and connective.
Here are some ways you can address the lack of sex in your marriage if it’s a problem for you and your partner.
Talk with your partner about the issue of low or no sex in your marriage. It may be difficult, but this communication is necessary. Even otherwise strong relationships can have problems with sex and intimacy. It isn’t necessarily a sign that your marriage is weak or in trouble.
Lack of sex may simply mean that you need to talk more and carve out more time to spend together as a couple. If you need help figuring out how to talk to your partner, consider first talking to a mental health professional or therapist for ideas about how to approach the subject. It is important to keep the conversation positive and not leave your partner feeling like they are being attacked or blamed.
Every marriage is different and you will need to work together as a couple to figure out what works for you. Don’t try to live up to other people’s expectations or what you think is normal. Talk about what each of you wants, needs, and expects. Then work together to make it work for both of you.
As you talk, aim to determine ways you both think you can rekindle your sex life. Making a change will only work if both of you agree to change and work together.
If you have decided that you want to have more sex, consider putting sex on your schedule. It may sound unromantic, but it can also be exciting and special if done the right way. Scheduling gives you something to look forward to and shows a commitment to one another and your physical relationship.
Beyond sex, it’s also important to explore other ways to build closeness that is often lost in low-sex or no-sex relationships. Physical intimacy doesn’t only involve sex. Make an effort to renew your love and create that special spark.
Being close, both emotionally and physically, is an important part of a healthy relationship. And it’s important to note that physical intimacy isn’t limited to sex.
Spending more time together, whether you’re curled up on the couch watching television or taking turns giving each other a massage, builds foundational intimacy. Here are other intimacy-building activities you might consider:
- Try a new activity together.
- Do something physical together such as going on a walk.
- Schedule a vacation or getaway.
- Plan a staycation at home.
- Go on a scheduled date night.
Get Help For Sexless Marriage Life
Depending on the underlying causes, seeking outside help may also be a good option. You might try a marriage retreat, workshop, or seminar to help with communication and connection.
Consult a doctor to address any underlying medical conditions that may be impacting your sex life. Seek support from a mental health professional together or separately to foster communication skills or learn stress management techniques.
If therapy feels like the right direction for you, consider seeing a counselor who focuses on sexual issues in marriage like a certified sex therapist. Your therapist can work with you to address any issues that are standing in the way of intimacy. Take these opportunities to focus on building a stronger, deeper marriage.
CAN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE LIFE SURVIVE?
The short answer is that yes, a sexless marriage can survive – but it can come at a cost. If one partner desires sex but the other is uninterested, lack of sex can lead to decreased intimacy and connection, feelings of resentment, and even infidelity. Even in situations where both partners are on the same page both have low sex drives, there is a physical distance like military deployment or a disability or medical condition causing the sexless marriage – the couple must be vigilant about creating intimacy in other ways.
If you’re in the first type of sexless marriage – one where uneven sex drives or other relationship problems are making you feel disconnected and unloved – it’s essential that you work on restoring passion and intimacy. Often, a sexless marriage can survive only because the partners convince themselves it’s normal, and they must keep a brave face. Don’t fall into this trap. While everyone responds to losing the physical aspect of their marriage in a different way, do not let it become the new normal.
While there is a lack of recent research on the topic, older studies have shown that lower sexual satisfaction and sexual frequency are associated with marriages breaking up.8 According to a 2015 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, having more sex indicates greater well-being for people in relationships, but only up to once a week. In the study, more than that did not.
Being dissatisfied with your sex life can breed trouble for a relationship.10 That is to say that the lack of sex itself isn’t necessarily an issue, but rather any dissatisfaction associated with the lack of sex is.
If you’re unsatisfied with the amount of sex you and your partner are having, you may be wondering whether your relationship can be sustained. Making the decision to end your marriage can be very complex. There are many different factors that can contribute to feeling sexually satisfied in a partnership, and they can differ from person to person.11
Michele Weiner Davis, author of the book “Sex-Starved Marriage,” explains why a low-sex marriage can become a major problem.
“It’s when one partner is desperately yearning for more touch, physical closeness, more sex, and the other partner is thinking: ‘What is the big deal? Why are you so hassled?’ When this major disconnect happens, intimacy at all levels tends to drop. [But it’s] really about feeling wanted, feeling loved, feeling appreciated, and feeling connected,” she says.
Davis goes on to say that because of hurt that can develop from not having needs met, the bond between a couple can dissipate to the point of putting the marriage at risk.
Meanwhile, divorce research suggests that some of the most common issues that lead to problems in a marriage include growing apart, poor communication, differences in tastes, and financial problems.12
If your partner doesn’t agree that there is a problem in your marriage and doesn’t want to change, you will have to decide if a low- or no-sex marriage is a dealbreaker for you.
Whether being in a sexless partnership is a deal-breaker depends on the couple. But if you find yourself in a sexless marriage or you’re dissatisfied with the amount of sex you and your partner are having, the first step is to communicate that with your partner and explore ways that you can find the intimacy that each of you needs to feel fulfilled.
There are many reasons that a relationship can become sexless, and many are treatable. Experiencing sexual issues in a relationship can be very difficult, but you don’t have to manage it alone.
Q. 1 Is sex important in a marriage?
A. As with any relationship, physical intimacy in any romantic relationship holds as much importance as your emotional availability.
Q. 2 How will lack of sex affect my marriage?
A. Going through a sexless marriage can be difficult. It can affect you in various ways like emotional standing, self-confidence, self-esteem, seriousness over the marriage, you will get agitated and so on.
Q. 3 How to overcome the lack of sex in a marriage?
A. The winner here is – communication. Any issue can be solved if communicated well enough. Try to discuss and hit topics that you or your partner is hesitant to touch upon. Try and see if you can break that barrier. Once that is done, understand where you are going wrong and try to fix it instead of putting a stop to your entire relationship.
Q. 4 What percentage of sexless marriages life end in divorce?
It’s not known what percentage of sexless marriages end in divorce, but if the rate is in keeping with the overall divorce rate in America, it would be about 50 percent. Chances are that the percentage of sexless marriages ending in divorce is even higher. However, some couples manage to convince themselves that a sexless marriage is nothing to worry about, and those marriages can last a lifetime.
Q. 5 Do you stay faithful in a sexless marriage?
A. Yes – staying faithful is essential to any marriage. Sexless marriages certainly do not justify infidelity. The temptation not to stay faithful is a symptom of a larger problem – a problem that can be fixed if you’re willing to do the work. Work on learning what to do in a sexless marriage to improve your connection and rekindle the passion. Then, you won’t be tempted to look elsewhere.